Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
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