you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
