I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
