Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I smell like Dick and happiness
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
