WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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