Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
