Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
