I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
