its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Randomize
