Christians are straight up FREAKS
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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