He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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