in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
