some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I know her cup size but not her name....
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
