Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
