I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
