Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
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