PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize