Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I need to align my fucking chakras
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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