the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
