If i come over, it means nothing
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
