he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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