last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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