Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
