i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
