this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
that is very illegal...i love you.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
