The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Randomize
