i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
You did what with his pubic hair?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
