Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
