**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
