Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
