You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I forget how to act sober
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