I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
