apparently the secret to your success is patron
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize