For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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