I feel like abortions should bother me more
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
