so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
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