Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
