nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
