So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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