im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
