Can Purell be used as lube?
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
