It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
And the cops told us we were all naked.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
