I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
