Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
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