I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Randomize
