my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i will never coherently bang her
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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