is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Randomize
