I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
