I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
