I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
