Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
