she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
