I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
