Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
