this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
