mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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