He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
The adults are the big ones right?
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
His nipple licking is glorious
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